The Long Drive

By the first of September, Ry left Germany and was sent to El Paso, Texas for further care and evaluation. When he arrived he called us from the hospital. He did not sound like our Ryley and we were still confused as to what was going on.  He was having several seizures a day and the root of them was unclear. He stayed in the hospital a few more days while they ran test and then was sent to the WTB (Warriors Transitional Barracks) in Fort Bliss. 

We began to make plans to go to El Paso. Ry told us he would have results from his test’s October tenth (dates is not exact). We left in our little rabbit and headed across country, Washington to Texas. One stop in Utah for the night and we were in El Paso by night fall the next day.  We were parents on a mission.

We went to the hospital the next morning to meet Ryley. We hadn’t seen him since last Christmas. It was a tearful reunion to say the least. We chatted with him for a while trying to figure out what was going on and to evaluate for ourselves the situation. We then all met with the neurologist and discussed the findings of the test.

Ryley did have a head injury. The MRI showed trauma to his frontal lobe. This explained the personality change and the unexpected moods swing but they were unclear if the TBI was the cause of the seizures. That would require more testing.  They had him on high levels of anti seizure medication along with mood enhancement meds.  He was a mess physically, mentally and spiritually.

We spent the day and evening with him and then dropped him off at the WTB and we went to the Fisher House (housing for families who military families are in the hospital, sort of like a Ronald McDonald house). We were so grateful for the accommodations, it was a free place to stay and we needed all the help we could get. The Fisher house would soon become a frequent place for me to stay while advocating for Ryley and where I would meet two incredible mothers.

We carried our bags to our room and we quietly settled ourselves in. Our hearts were so heavy. The worst part of all of all of this was we were helpless in the situation. The Army was in charge of Ryley and they decided his care. I wanted to gather him up and take him home. I knew he needed his family if he was going to get back to himself. The people of Fort Bliss didn’t know who Ryley was before his injury so how could they possibly gage what was needed to get him back to normal. This would be the argument I would use to fight for his treatment and his transfer, which I will share later.

We spent 3 days with Ryley and in those 3 days we met with doctors, sergeants, captains, nurse case managers and Army administration. We requested Ryley be sent to Fort Lewis in Washington so he could be close to family as he recovered. I explained that with his injury he needed to be near family and friends that knew the old Ryley. That as much as I respected the care providers at Fort Bliss, they could never help Ry become himself if they didn’t know “who” that exactly was.

Nothing is easy when dealing with the Army and its administration. Everything we requested had to go through hoops, loops and quite possibly Saturn’s rings. Paperwork had to be filled out, the transfer had to be approved and in the mean time, we just had to wait.

The answers were not going to come while we were there this time. We had to leave Ryley and head back to Washington. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. This was MY son who needed me, how can I leave? My heart was tethered to Ry; I felt sick departing but knew our hands were tied. Plus, we still had two children at home, Sydney, who was attending college at the time and Jessey who was in High School.

None of this was fair for any of us. As my advocating for Ry’s transfer would get more aggressive, Syd would eventually drop out of college to help around the house and get Jes to and from school. Let’s just say the mom guilt was piling on! My heart and head was on overload. Cody was still deployed and worried about his brother. This caused us concern because he needed his mind focused on his job. We were worried about the two kids at home, although they were old enough to leave, Syd could not play mom forever. Jessey had swim meets, youth group and activities; we needed to go home, but how did we leave our son who needed us? We prayed hard and put all our trust and faith in our Heavenly Father and headed the long trek back to Washington. My legs felt like lead as we walked to our car. Add the heavy heart and giant concern and I was one weighty anvil that was sinking in an ocean of trepidation. It was the longest drive of my life. If crying burned calories I should’ve been a size six by the time we arrived home...to be continued.

Follow our journey.at http://motherofmilitary.blogspot.com/