If you are just joining the story, you may want to go back and read the previous blogs.
My sleep was restless as I tossed
and turned with the plethora of “What Ifs” floating through my mind. How was I
going to convince the Major to transfer my son? How was I going to stand before
someone who I believed did not have a heart towards Ry or our beliefs? The next morning I crawled out of bed and laid
face down on the floor before the Lord, crying out for wisdom, courage and articulation
of speech. I waited on Him for direction. I wasn’t just a women in what felt
like a mostly mans world, I was a civilian in a military world. They spoke with
acronyms and a lingo I did not understand. There is actually a book on all the
acronyms. I tried to read it but I was soooo long, confusing and boring. I
decided to just ask, “What does that mean?” and let them do the work of
explaining. Brilliant I know.
As I was in prayer, I really felt
the Holy Spirit speak to me. That I wasn't there to battle El
Paso and Fort
Bliss El Paso . So to war for
him and not against a territory made a great deal of sense to me.
I got up and went to meet with Bob . We chatted a bit and then we both walked over to
the building where I would meet the Major over the WTB. Bob
didn't want me to get my hopes up. He wasn't sure if the Major was going to be
able to meet with me. We were going over to see if a meeting was possible. He
also informed me that the Major was very matter of fact; to not be emotional
and to state my cause and then let it be. As I was in the waiting room, a
gentleman walked by and Bob stopped
him in the hall. They spoke briefly and then the man continued walking to his
office. It was the Major. I was glad I smiled. J
We waited a few more minutes and
then I was called back for my meeting. As I walked into his office I felt a
presence of peace fall on me and a boldness come forth just in time. I sat down
and began to explain my situation and the reason I was there. The words flowed
from my mouth without me needing to think about them. (Thank you Jesus ) When I
was finished the Major looked at me and said it is unusual to transfer someone
in this situation. Your son was sent here for care and we don’t normally
transfer a soldier. I argued my point of a head trauma patient with PTSD needs
family to help the recovery process. That Fort Bliss
I watched as the man thought on all
I had to say but then said nothing. I then continued with my plea. “Sir, would
you please consider transferring my son close to home so we can be part of his
healing and recovery?” He was a man of few words and just looked at me and
said, “Yes ma’am I will.” That was good enough for me. I exited his office and
went to find Bob . He asked me how the
meeting went and I told him everything. When he heard that the final answer
from the Major was that he would consider the transfer, Bob
was amazed. He said that the Major was a non negotiating man. The fact that I
got him to consider Ryley’s transfer was miracle in itself. Well, I didn’t come
here for anything less than miracles and I expected God to move a Muslim Army Majors
heart towards my son. And He did.
I had a couple more meeting with
administration and Ry’s nurse case manager, who was getting pretty exhausted
with me. I then went to go see Ry for
the evening. When I showed up at Mentis, Ryley was over at the assisted living
side playing rummy and smoking with the older folks. It was a precious sight.
The lady he seemed to be bonding with had a huge heart towards Ryley and sort
of grandmothered him. I hung out with them for a while and then left for the
night.
Every time I left Ryley at Mentis,
I always thought, “Is this the best thing for him?” It wasn’t long before that question would be
answered. The weekend came and I would get to spend an entire Saturday with my
boy. I told him I would pick him up around lunch time so we could both sleep
in. I went to sign him out for the day
but when I got there he seemed to be having a rough start. He was angry and in
turmoil. “Uh oh” I thought. “I know what this is” Ry was about to have a hulk
like moment. He was clenching his fists and in such confusion. We went out side
so he could smoke and I tried to calm him down. I then ran to get the
administrator. When I found him, he said he was going to get the counselor. I
waited outside keeping watch over Ry to make sure he didn’t hurt himself or
anyone else. When the administrator came back outside, without the counselor, I
asked if he was coming. The administrator (who was former army) was very upset.
He said, with anger in his voice. “The counselor
is having lunch right now and said he would come when he was done.” I thought I
was going to blow a gasket! Isn’t that what he’s here for? What’s the point of
having an on sight counselor when he can’t be bothered to put down his blooming
sandwich!? My blood was boiling.
The administrator was incredible though.
He spoke calmly and gently to Ryley. He
let Ry vent, scream and rage. He assured me to just let him be. Let him walk it
out. He was having a flood of memories of war but didn’t have the mind to
process them. On top of that, El Paso resembles the middle east with its terrain,
so at times it can be in your face with flash backs. Ryley began to calm down after he roared at
the world for about 30 minutes. He then smoked a ton of cigarettes. Now, I don’t
condone smoking, but they calmed him down. I was informed by one of the nurses
that it was the least of their worries with the wounded warriors. Most of them
are hooked on pills or alcohol; smoking is the less of the evils and can actually
help them settle down. I agreed.
When the counselor did come down
stair and the administrator and I had already endured the worst of Ryley’s storm,
I approached him with a burr in my saddle. My adrenaline was already going so
the sight of him was all I needed to let him have it. I tore into him with all
I had. I couldn’t understand the lacks a daisy attitude he had towards our
wounded warriors. He had no excuse. He fumbled with his reasoning. I shut him
down each time. I informed him that if he was going to bother to be a counselor
at a neuro clinic then he needed to be available for situations that imposed on
his lunch hour. That he of all people should know of the unpredictability of a head
trauma and PTSD and they didn't schedule episodes around lunch. I stepped down off my soap box and walked away,
and went to hang out with Ry for a while. When he was more himself we went to
the Fisher house watched and movies in my room. I made us dinner and then
returned him to Mentis by 8:00 pm.
Oh how I longed for normalcy and
healing. I ached for my son. I cried out for peace for his heart and mind. I
missed my husband. I missed Jessey and Sydney .
I worried about Cody . I had another week in Texas and then I would
leave to go home for Thanksgiving, but I informed all his caregivers and
leaders Ryley WAS coming home for Christmas leave; that I would be back to
bring him home for Christmas. It was ton paperwork but I knew he needed to come
home. Something wonderful was going to happen if I could just get him home, if
I could just get him in the presence of God. Oh and how wonderful it would be.
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